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Truth &Honesty

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Listening Ear

Five Signs Your Spouse is Absolutely Cheating On You

From time to time, situations, experiences, boredom and a plethora of reasons may make a spouse cheat. Whichever way it happens, it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth of the one who has been cheated on, and it shatters trust so badly sometimes nothing of it maybe salvaged. If you knew the signs that could hint that your partner was cheating on you, would you do something differently to avert it? Would you take preemptive steps to stop it? Would you confront it? Would knowing the signs that your spouse could be cheating on you make any difference?

Well, here are five (5) of the signs to watch out for. Nothing is cast in stone and it may not be what you think. Before you act on them, be guided by wisdom.

  1. Show of Apathy Or Discomfort In Discussing That Subject. You know your spouse is in a similar mess when they are hesitant in discussing your friend or cousin who cheated on their spouse. It is even weird when you know your spouse, on a normal day, would pry and would want to know more. Their discomfort may be evidence of the fact that condemning the other person would mean condemning themselves and setting themselves up for the same condemnation when their affair is found out.

  2. Sudden Change In Attitude Or Interest Towards something. Your spouse who did not like a particular genre of music or line of conversation or even type of fashion suddenly falls for it, and worse, is dragging you into it. The strange bit it is the excitement with which they are rowing and how they are unable to tell you what may have triggered that sudden interest. Love has a way of making people see things differently and going out of their way to try new things. Your spouse may be in that state, just not with you. Pay attention there.

  3. New Terms, New Mannerisms. When we start talking to new people, especially those we love or are excited about, we unconsciously pick their language and mannerisms. Is your spouse all of a sudden sounding and acting different? Same old friends, same old boring job, same old places same old drab movies? Then they are talking to someone you do not know. Someone they are so excited about they are are unconsciously imitating them.

  4. Increased Demand For Privacy. That is the commonest kind lately. Suddenly the phone has a cryptic multilayered password, the phone is on silence almost all the time, there is always that five (5) minutes dash to the car before the entire family joins or a few minutes delay when everyone else is out of the cat. You used to ride together and share ride. Now your spouse is telling you about how tiring that makes YOU feel, how they would be stopping over at many places and how you definitely need to go with your own car. Someone is talking to someone and it is not you.

  5. Choreography. Yes, this is the part where answers to questions feel like predefined and well rehearsed. When you throw in a random question, you get an evasive or curt answer. Your spouse who could wind and wind and wind now gives you precise answers. Well the answers need to fit into previous answers and lies told you. That demands a lot of brain processing, which means information to you must be short and precise. Are you struggling to get a yes or no answer? Are you getting too much of precise answers with no chance for further questions? And that is not how your partner has always been? Well. Check it, they could be doing that to keep their two lives from mixing up. And if anytime you probe, it leads to a tantrum or a fight, then you have your confirmation.

This list is not exhaustive and I am sure you will have a million and one to add. Let us keep the conversation going on. Share some of the signs in the comment box and let's keep talking. Are you in a mess and you want to come out, or you are dating someone and it is getting messy? Click here, book a date and let's talk through it.

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