9 Ways To Manage Your Love Life On Social Media As A Married Person
Social media is now an integral part of our lives. It is a part of the internet that many people have found very useful in making their everyday existence colourful. With it has also come some considerable challenges leading, in some cases, to irreparable damage to things built over a length of time. Marriages, especially, are struggling in diverse ways because of how people are unable to keep what is online online and what is offline offline.
How do you manage your love life in this age of social media, so you can have the best of both worlds? The list is quite long and we can only look at so much in a day. I have, nonetheless, put down these few areas that I believe we need to pay particular attention to if we want to manage the interrelationship between these two areas of our lives well.
Manage The Exposure
Know what to share online and what to keep private. You and your spouse need to agree on which areas of your lives should be online and which areas should be offline. Do not turn your marital struggles into motivational posts, live videos and status updates. Do not carry your moods online. It gives people too much view into your marriage and what is going on with you two. You may not see anything wrong with what you share, but unfortunately for you, in marriage, you cease to be you; you become two and how the other person feels in this relationship matters a lot. Most people are in for the juicy scoops and they leave a comment or like the post to follow proceedings. Ain't everybody got mad love for you like they make you think. It is social Media, not a counseling session. If you want someone to talk to, talk to a professional or a trusted person.
Choose Your Source Of Help Carefully
Do not send your marital problems to Social Media Influencers to post for people's views. Marriage is a serious business, Social Media Influencers need followers. Simple. You don't want to talk to a professional, your pastor or your family because you don't trust them, but you trust the random folks advising you online? Your spouse is cheating and you want advice, but guess what, so is the one typing the mind of the oracles! So how is that person's advice 'The Advice?' How is it that their advice not working for them? Social media is like a Ghanaian Market, if you don't manage how you expose your marriage, someone will sell you poison... 90% off. Talk to a professional.
Always know there will be temptations once you start chatting up someone you really like online. It graduates from having the pleasure of chatting with that one person from time to time, to an overbearing desire to chat with them every moment. That can conflict with the time you could be spending with your partner. The temptation gets real when you start to share your personal thoughts, desires and feelings with this person. Over time, where there is no restraint or one of you is caught up in your own problems at home, a sexual relationship can evolve.
Be Open To Feedback From Your Partner
Whenever your partner prompts you about this drift and constant chatting with people online, even when you two are together, respect their feelings and manage it. Sometimes, the only person your partner has for a friend is you; do not sideline them in favour of a 'woow' guy or a 'slay queen' online. You might be surprised how soon your spouse might also find something to occupy their time with...including someone they have been fighting off for a long time. Social media is to make our lives fun, not to ruin it. Your marriage is for life and if you really understand it, how your partner feels would be of utmost importance to you than a social media friendship.
Build Mutual Friends
If you and your spouse are on social media, do your best to make mutual friends, especially when it comes to people you really like. Let them meet your partner and build a rapport. It builds trust and eases suspicion. Sometimes, your partner may be dramatic about nothing; let them meet the person and that can defuse the fear and anxiety.
Choose Your Partner Any Day In Any Social Media Drama
Do not for once side with a friend you met online against your partner in any misunderstanding. If a friend disrespects your partner online because of you, or your partner prompts you about such an incidence, take the person on in a civil way and let them know in no ambiguous terms that you do not appreciate it. If you feel your partner is in the wrong, have a private conversation with them. Do not appear to be siding with the other person openly against your spouse. Social media can be a blessing, but family is everything. Never compromise what you have over something that might as well be fleeting.
Watch The Games; Everyone Can Play It
Just as you don't don't play anyhow in public; bantering and saying or doing inappropriate things all over the place, so you need to watch how you behave online. Your online behaviour can embarrass your spouse and raise eyebrows. Many people, in order to circumvent this, have block their spouses, family and friends online just so they can feel free to do as they please online. That is just like saying your spouse cannot go to any social event with you so you can do what you want. No Sir! Respect is more than not insulting your partner; it is ensuring that you do not engage in stuff that insults them in the eyes of others, whether they are present or not. So whether you have blocked your spouse or not, you disrespect or respect them with your online lifestyle, and it can affect your marriage over time.
Have fun online, meet people, make friends and be happy, but always ensure that your actions built trust in your partner. Keep them in the loop on your meet ups, hangouts and group events. Involve them from time to time. Do not just mention names, let them know the lives behind the names. If it satisfies them, from time to time let them even see the people you are chatting with. It build confidence. Aaah! I see you saying noo waayy! Yep! If your spouse can't see your chats with a particular person, then maybe... just maybe... you need to stop chatting with the person because clearly the chat is centered around a 'contraband subject'. Please, save the explanation, I hope you will take your own explanation from your spouse if they give it to you.
Manage Privacy And Intrusion
There is a time for everything, and once you and your spouse are together, unless someone is dying or it is a quick text or a group discussion that has dragged but must be concluded, please get offline. How do you explain chatting with someone at 10pm in bed, with your spouse next to you? That is like having the person in your room. It is inappropriate.The men are mostly guilty of this. Some even pretend to be watching a game or movie, just so they can be in the hall, chatting away the night. Soon, the drift will become real in your marriage, intimacy suffers and emotions get disconnected.
Have you learnt something? Do you have a view on this? By all means drop it in the comment box and lets get talking. Do you need someone to talk to on this issue or a similar issue? Click here and book an appointment and you will be happy you did.