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3 cups

A Loving Heart

3 cups

Healthy Communication

2 tsp.


1 cup


2 tsp.


2 tbsp.

Truth &Honesty

1½ cups

Listening Ear

My Wardrobe: Part 1 - Do Not Cast Your Pearls To The Swine

Do not cast your pearl to the swine. The Bible says. A few weeks ago, I was clearing my closet and saw these two shirts I got as a gift from a friend coming from the States. They Were American Large. I wear Medium. So I put them down, hoping I would put on weight so I fit in them. Beautiful funky stuff. Alas, after 6 years I still wear M. The same size since 2008 or so.

So I made a bold decision to give them out, together with about half of all my clothing (I kid you not... it could probably be more). It was more like my own December-To-Remember give outs to the less privileged around. Hoarding is not spatially wise. These were the first of the clothes I decided to give out before I made a go for it with the rest. I had seen this painter I thought could fit into the shirts. He looked like the guy who loved baggy stuff. So I called him home, and handed over these two 'tear rubber' shirts. He looked excited when he left. I kid you not, and I am not the kind to go to charity with a camera and a megaphone, but it broke me into all kinds of pieces when I saw him the next day wearing one of the shirts at work with paint stains all over it. It's been two weeks now and I have put off writing about it. After all it is his choice. It is a gift I gave him, and I should respect him to respect what he does with it. Then one evening I saw him wearing the second one. Also with paint stains. I put so much value on those shirts I kept them for six years hoping I will grow into them. I put so much value on them that I gave them to him as his Christmas gift. But he saw them differently. He saw them as clothes. He probably didn't read the tag or see the prices. He probably didn't realize the texture was heavenly. He just wore them for work. Paint stains, left for the elements to rape them after the days toil. It broke me. And I know it will break you, because as a woman you have had pride in yourself, your thinking, your body, your heart and your emotions, and kept yourself safe and drama free. But of course life happens and you realize you must open up to someone. You can't be like this forever. Then he comes around. Everything you believed deserves someone like you. You judge him on a face value and tell yourself, he is worth my gift. So without praying about it, observing him in his daily chores, and probably looking at other people, you settle on this one person out of your ignorance. But unfortunately, he sees you as nothing more than a vagina and breasts on two legs. Your tag means nothing, your texture has no allure, who you are and what you are made up of, is of little consequences to him. So he takes you, uses you as he has prescribed in his head, and moves on like he has done all the girls before you... He wears you like he has all the other clothes. The good, the cheap, the ugly. You are nothing different. I gave him clothes he could take out for a cool evening. What if he has no evening life? A man who has no need for your brains, will be interested in your body than your brains. He will use you as if you are only a piece of flesh, not a living soul. Not everyone prices you as you price yourself. So ensure you are on the same page with them before you go 'aselling' yourself. Maybe a little observation and engagement would have helped me judge him better. Maybe engaging other workers would have helped me choose a better recipient. Maybe prayer would have made him miss work the same day I wanted to give the shirts out, then someone else might have had it. He was a random choice that broke my heart. You could be that young man who has kept himself. You have put your life together and built something for your NOW and the FUTURE. It could be your business, ministry, personal impressions of the world around you. Then one day, you judge poorly and wake up with a woman who is all kinds of a wrong fit for the life you hope for the future. You would have committed and the mess would have started. Not all errors are easily corrected. It's 2019, Observe, engage, probe if you can, look around, and pray before you commit and give the gift of you to others. Not everyone sees you the way you see yourself. You might have preserved yourself for the big time but to someone else, you are....The same old clothes others use and hand down.

Keep your head up!


First Published on Facebook in January 2019

Keep your head up.

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