10 Attributes Of People You Must Absolutely Not Marry
Every relationship you find yourself in must make you feel better about yourself. The person you are with must be someone you can live with, whether it is for a fleeting moment or for a life time. Any relationship that leaves you with a lot of pain, questions and uncertainty is not worth being in. Regardless of what plans you may have for the future, these are not relationships worth taking to the next level. The underlisted attributes point to people and experiences that come with some people that must tell you your relationship must never end in marriage.
1. Poor communication skills.
Communication is Key to the survival of every relationship. It is the heartbeat of romance. A mark of maturity is one’s ability to express their views, hopes, aspiration, dissent and even their love in a clear, unambiguous manner. When this is missing, you find that the relationship is operating in uncertainty, with one party not knowing what the other person is thinking, their next line of action and what they mean, or do not mean, by a certain action. Silent Treatment is never a good communication skill.
2. Immaturity. This manifest in so many ways, including but not limited to lack of restraint and acting without thought and care about the future implications of one’s actions. It also manifests in ways that show one is not thinking about their choices now, and how those choices affect their future; choices in the areas of financial management, life goals and plans, and building a clear path in a vocation or career.
3. Lack Of Trust Trust is big when it comes to relationships. When you find yourself with someone you cannot trust wholeheartedly, or someone who cannot trust you even when you have done all you can to demonstrate your trustworthiness, then it is absolutely imperative that you run. It doesn’t get better, only frustration, pain and lack of peace await you at the other end of the Ring.
4. A Person who is not liked by those in your inner circles. Your inner circles include your family, friends, pastors, mentors and people who are significant to you. They make you. When they don’t like the person you are dating, it is not because they hate you; sometimes they know you so well, they can tell you what you may have not even realized about yourself…including the fact that you and this individual you are seeing won’t go far. Love also has a humorous way of blinding you to certain realities. It is during this period that you need the third eye of those close to you to look for what you can’t see. If they all seem not to like the person, take a pause and think hard about it.
5. Possessive personality . Nasty; nasty spectacle to saddle yourself with. In the end, you find yourself isolated, alone and effectively manipulated with no one to give you a different perspective on things. If someone loves you, they must love you enough to let you go, so if the one you are dating only sees their love proved when they have you to themselves alone, that right there, is no love; it is selfishness. Don’t take it to the next level.
6. Secrets. Who wants it? Ain't nobody got time for'em. If you feel things are not as you see them and your probes are either resisted in a hostile or evasive manner, then know there is something they do not want you to know. It could be something they fear will make you change your mind about them. But really, don’t I have the right to love you objectively? Must I be manipulated into loving you? If I am loving you, then I need to know everything about you, so I can make an informed decision and psychic myself well. I need to know the good, the bad and the ugly.
7. Loose ends from past relationships. When the person has not fully terminated their previous relationships, it is a big bright red flag. Do not proceed any further. What if they really do not end up breaking that relationship and settle with you? What if they use the Give-Me-Time excuse as a means of dating two people for a Gazillion Years at the same time? Imagine it. Getting sex, money, comfort from two ends, like the boss! Run!
8. Insecurity. Every relationship you find yourself in must be with a person who makes you feel secure, makes you know where you stand and feel your position is uncontested. Are you dating someone you are not sure who you are to them? Today, it is a hot steamy passion when you are all alone, but when you meet other people under certain circumstances, you are never introduced as the Main Guy or The Main Sister? Bruh, that right there is a green light for you to run. Sister, you are a girlfriend of convenience. Absolutely do not take this to the next level. You cannot be a private girlfriend and a public friend. That is how you graduate into a private wife, married to a guy who is single to everyone else. 9. Abusive behavior. Abuse should be a NO NO anytime. If you feel you are being made to feel less of a person in your own eyes, that you fear for your person, that you feel traumatized when specific events in your relationship with the person is recounted, then you need to understand there is an abuse of a sort going on, whether is it physical, emotional, psychological or verbal. It does not get better.
10. Disconnection In your Spiritual lives. If you are not on the same wave length with the person in your life spiritually, think hard about the potential contentions these imbalances would bring. From being banned from going to church or praying, backsliding and changing of your faith, to being led into something of a religious extremism that defies all sanity.
Think before you leap. Many married when the sign were all too visible, but hoped their partner will change. Ding Ding Ding, the average person does not change until they want to. So do not hope you can change anyone. If it is not good. walk out; there is a reason why you have seen it now. Act on it.
Do you feel strongly about something in this post? Drop a comment. But let’s be nice about it.
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