Of Love And Its Declining Worth
The bars have come down very low lately. It is no wonder that hearts are snapping up all over the place. Easy to get, easy to let go. How much is the value of 'love' these days? I am not sure. But it is definitely on sales with 90% off. Or... you know...Smile at me, get laid for free.
Back in the day, your sound system was Akai or Lanico. You played Michael Jackson's Liberian Girl, you stop, rewind, pause, stop.... All in the hope of writing down the lyrics. There was no metrolyrics.com. You want the lyrics to go blow her mind? You need to listen to the song yourself son, you gotta. You had to have a dictionary. Learn a few Shakespearean English. You had to be colorful with your world outlook. There was no place for the color blind.
You needed to learn how to write; like how to get you a nice handwriting. So when you buy that color Writing Pad, and you start pouring down on it, you knew you had invested. You couldn't cross a word out. You were using a ball pen, so you couldn't erase a mistake. The pain of buying a 25 leafed writing pad and realizing you could write just one letter out of it. No mistakes, no omissions, no nothing. Just a perfect letter with a perfect hand writing full of sweet nothings. And when all was done, you puffed some perfume on it before you enveloped it. If you couldn't afford the designer ones (of course you couldn't and your parents' were under lock and key) you could buy yourself the small perfume called Bondage...or any of them Avon Perfumes.
Then you would need someone to deliver the letter for you. Bless you if you guys were in school. You could post it. Bless you if they had a home postal box. But if not, you could wait for ages to get her that letter. Those were the days patience was tested on daily basis. And if you had guts, you could actually go and visit her...especially when you are not family friends. Sometimes, you had to go and stand in some 'curve' or some corner, hoping they would send her to buy stuff from the provision shop close by, so you could catch a glimpse of her...a smile maybe.
Even when she did go out, and walked right in front of you, but did not look at you because she doesn't want her little brother (they had Intentionally asked to accompany her) know there was something going on between you two, you still felt at peace because you saw her. Sometimes, you had to 'Paddy the kid bro', another investment, so he can be a 'betweener'. There was no Facebook or IG so seeing her at will was nil. God we have suffered before.
There was this time I was out and I came back to see a visitor waiting for me. Seeing that girl was like breaking a CIA weapons depot in an unmarked Safe house. it made me feel like on top of the world. Then one day she happened to pass by my house and decided to stop. When she entered the house she mentioned my nickname. 'Good afternoon Daa, please I am looking for Bronx Tito.' of Course she got the look every parent gives when someone of the opposite sex came around looking for their child. She was in car wash jeans and a Seaman Jolly (bandanna). Not many men had that gut to do what she did.
There was no cellphone so she was not there listening to anything or browsing to distract her. She was there quietly for hours waiting for me to come. Taking in all the details of things around her. In this day and age, sitting still for 20 minutes can be as nerve racking as it was when we landed on Normandy in the epic June 1944 Allied invasion of Europe. Each second was like a year.... Yea that is how it feels like today for many of us. But back in the day, she, like many of us went through, learned to actually sit and wait with no distractions. I remember seeing her, just before I entered the house, and freezing. God. What would my parents think. Took me over forever to enter the house. She just smiled. Said, 'Hey Tito'. Today, it is even boring an act. Then it was Epic.
That was what we went through just to show affection or love in the days past. And when you finally met your Chanchiko, you will sit and stare at each other sheepishly. Many didn't have their own bedrooms so you had to do the hall... Or... Walk out and take a stroll. Oh bless your heart if your neighbourhood was full of Trolls. You see yourself walking at one side of the road and the lady at the other side until you get to a place where it was OK to come together and hold hands.Been there, seen it, done it, son, done it.
Chasing a girl or getting chased by a boy was hard. It was so hard it came next to selling PK in a fast moving traffic. Y'all gotta keep the chase on fire! It was a tough job. So when you managed to get a smile, and an "I love you" or, in your wildest dream a peck, Dear Lord, my soul is yours. You knew your hard work paid off. In the end, after getting her, if you are lucky and you marry her, you know this was something you worked for; paid a price for, so you need to work it no matter the challenge.
You did not chase a girl whose skin colour was not a certainty. The hair was hers, I mean some had activators in their dripping Jelly Curls and all, but it was their hair. You knew the front and back bumpers were hers. For real! You were certain the fenders where hers. There was nothing fake. The acne and all of them. We loved the look of it. The maxam tooth paste seem not to go round for everyone in her house, but the love was deeper than a temporary hitch in fresh breath. You were not so much shocked on your honey moon. What you see on the bed, is the real deal you have been chasing all your life. There was no separate looks for the world, and a bedroom one, like today.
But thou young man art become a woman!
You pride yourself in your redlips, hulk figure, beaded face, tight chinos, slim fit jackets, your looks in general and sit back for a woman to chase you. Where lies the chivalry? Where lies the hustle? So this thing you are enjoying do you even feel good about yourself? Now your wallet is always missing, at home or in your office so you don't have to pay for the date. Your tank has to be filled for you or you will drive her car. Gosh how you have embraced this whole "what men can do women can also do"
You have embraced this splitting of the bill, not because you care about women empowerment. You have because it is convenient for you. It takes the responsibility off you so you can be the baby.... Fulfilling Scriptures. And in the Last days 7 women will say to a man, marry us and put your name on us so our shame be taken off. We will take care of ourselves. How convenient, Sire. How convenient. And you don't understand why after marriage she still wants to lead you, dictate for you and control you. My wife does not respect me, she treats me like a woman. No respect. I can't deal with this. My ex did not disrespect me like this. You will rant.
Son, kindly open your trousers and confirm if you have... You know.... The thing... See? You handed it over to her when you were enjoying her all over you. You did not stand as a man. You did not show chivalry. You did not learn how to take charge of a home, a family and most importantly a woman. She is your help mate not your mother. Now see how handicapped you are. See how for a one minute sex and Gucci Perfume and 3 calls per second, you have now been reduced to one of the boys. You see how now you are frustrated and she feels frustrated too? You thought that was the life. That was the isshhh....Girls dripping from your mouth like chocolate spread.
Even with your last penny, you should have stood and handled your business like a real man. You should have insisted on leading when she was looking for a leader. Instead you always had an excuse why you couldn't do something, and the look on your face and the sigh of relief when she opted to do it herself. Now you are crying she does things without recourse to you? Bruh, when did it matter to you? Were you not relishing in not knowing how it got done so long as it was done? So now what?
Guuurrrlll!!! You see why he doesn't respect you? Back in the day, did you know how hard your dad worked for that first kiss? But you link up with a guy, and without meeting you in person, sex has already gone down through WhatsApp video. How do you expect him to respect you when for as little as a cheap movie night you opened up? How do you expect him to treat you with honor when you have not presented yourself honorable?
Who said anyone treats you differently from how you sell yourself? If you are bought cheap, you are treated cheap. Ain't nobody buying nothing from a dollar shop and hiding it in a Treasure Box. Whoever told you it is possible, done told you wrong! That, my dear young ones, is one of the key reasons, why people marry today and divorce tomorrow. They did not pay much for it. And I don't mean money when I say pay.
We have made this whole Love and Sex business so cheap, disposing of the people involved is as easy as throwing away a made in China malfunctioning nail cutter.
I know it is hard for those who want to do it right. You have a boy you love so much who is telling you, if he does not do the Distin, another girl will give it. I know the pressure. The locker room conversation pressure. The girls' out pressure. I know. But I think you still can do it right. Look around you, not all shops in Ghana are selling cheap made-in-China goods. Some still sell quality Italian, German or British products. They are expensive, but you know they last.
So those who want the facade without the real deal will go to where it is cheap, and those who know what is quality will find you. I am not saying the wait will be easy. I am not saying it will be simple. But sometimes it is better to stay single and lonely than married and be treated trashy. It is better to wait for the right time, even if it is in your grave than getting entangled with the wrong one who may prevent you when the right person shows up.
Let's up the value of love and our hearts. Make him work for you. Make her prove her worth beyond sex, cleaning and cooking. Bruh, a woman is worth more than the Kitchen, the Living Room and the Other Room. Sister,you are not a Donkomi good. You need him to place a value on you.
I talk to you not for likes or claps... But as the younger siblings I did not have.
Let your friends read this!