I have been in a relationship for about two year now with a lady I was really looking forward to marrying. She recently stopped picking my calls and replying to my chats. At first she said it was due to work pressure so I did not probe further. But this continued for a while. She kept saying everything was ok. Then I noticed a particular gentleman was showing up in the picture. I did my investigations and I got to know they spend time together. I followed up to this lady’s house and her little sister confided in me the man wants to marry my lady and they have even come to do the knock in ceremony. I am shattered. What do I do? I really love her.
So sorry for this. Although this must be hard on you, I would advise you to pick up yourself and move on. As fate would have it, she has decided, whether it was forced on her or it was a personal choice, to move on with another man. Let her go, while you concentrate on your life, and the next phase of it.
I personally would not advocate for a showdown. It would have counted if you caught the move in time. Now the guy has gone a step ahead of you. I am not sure if he is a recent guy or he was therefore you, but I guess he had brought something to the table, she feels you did not have. The last thing you want is to force yourself on a woman who finds you inadequate or not ready.
What she has done is callous and a betrayal of trust, unless you saw the signs coming or she hinted you in ways you have not mentioned in this letter. But if it all took you by surprise as it seem, then let her go. You need to forge your future with a woman you can totally trust; a woman who will be honest enough to break up with you if she is not happy, instead of starting a marriage process behind you.
Look at the brighter side; maybe you were not ready, she was. Maybe your uniqueness was not her taste, this guy is her taste. If she stayed, she would have nagged, frustrated you and taken your peace of mind away. Now she is gone with her potential wahala. Wish her well. Hope for the best for her, plan your life, and concentrate on your books if you are a student, or your work, if you are a worker.
Develop yourself and your social capacity, so you can become a man a woman won’t leave for another man. When your ex sees you tomorrow, she should never thank her stars she left you. Even if she won’t regret leaving you, she should be happy for you that you did something good with your life.
Let it go. Breathe in, breathe out. Let it go. Delete her number so you don’t feel tempted to call, cry and beg. Nasty spectacle. Or worse, see her WhatsApp status and break your heart. Unfollow her on social media if you can; it helps you heal faster. After a while you will be fine. For now she is gone.
I wish you luck with your next woman.
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